Last year, for Autism Awareness Month, our then seven-year-old son Knox and I worked on a video project as a way of trying to spread awareness of autism during the month of April, along with shining a light on our sweet Tobin.
We worked together from the start. I interviewed Knox and recorded the interview. Then I wrote a script and had him read over it to make sure it was just like he wanted. A friend of ours came and captured the narration (both video and audio portions), and then I edited it on my iMovie software, with Knox on my lap, giving me feedback and direction as we went along, plugging in footage and figuring out transitions.
Creating this art together, putting together the pieces of our story was such a great experience.
But what I found is that it was more than that.
A friend once told me (during the first year Tobin came home and we were in pieces trying to figure out what was going on and I felt like I was failing in every moment of every day) that I’m only seeing the MOMENTS, when I need to be looking at the ENTIRETY. He said that when I only focus on the SCENE in front of me, I miss the whole STORY.
It’s as if I was stuck in grit of my behind-the-scenes footage and not seeing the real movie, the real story going on.
I think that’s how it is sometimes. Sometimes we feel like we’re stuck in a hard scene and it will never end. And sometimes there’s a scene we love, and we want to replay it over and over and over again. I think it can be easy to lose track of the story because all we can see is the scene we’re a part of at the moment.
The scene is a part of the story. The hard scenes, the high scenes, the blah scenes… They all work together. And it’s all Good.
Because the story is still becoming. We are still becoming.
When we finished our little video project, my family and I looked at the screen in tears. This time it wasn’t because we were in a trillion pieces. It was because for the first time, we got a glimpse at the whole, at the way the pieces come together in our little family. We got to see the Good and the Grace that has been moving the entire time. We got to look at our boys from the outside in and see how precious their relationship is.
We were able to see beyond our scene and get a glimpse of the bigger story, of the way our little boy is changing us all for the better.